headache

I am very paranoid with grades but I don’t care about studying. I don’t study much during exams but I tend to expect a lot with the results. It is my weakness. I guess I’m not used to be a bookish or a geek. I believe that examination tests what you’ve learnt, not what you’ve just memorized. I hate memorizing. When my expectations fail, I become really depressed, like what’s happening now. I think I have so many problems to think about that worrying about them made my head ache. I worry a lot about my grades. Being in the deans’ list again puts so much pressure on me. Even though I shouldn’t care much about my grades because I already got 83 in Acctg2, taking away the possibility for me to be a cum laude, I still agonize too much.

I realized that doing good at present will pressure me to do better in the future. And if I fail with that expectation, I get miserable. I spent 1 hour earlier just to forget about my Accounting problem. I am not failing, but I just can’t accept that I might end up having a line of 8 grade. Grades aren’t out yet. Meanwhile, my Economics is doing great. I fear that I might expect more on the endterms. To tell you honestly, I got overconfident with my prelim grades because everything turned out so well. Except for my Religion subject which was understandable. Now, I feel that I won’t get much success as what I’ve got for prelim.